


Great-Great-Aunt Hepzibah Was a Witch, You Know

by anonymous_sibyl



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Sorkinverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-24
Updated: 2008-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-04 02:06:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/pseuds/anonymous_sibyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fresh berries, water fights, hardwood floors, and Frank Sinatra. Just another day on the Bartlet Farm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Great-Great-Aunt Hepzibah Was a Witch, You Know

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**romanticalgirl**](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/)'s [Wet &amp; Wild Challenge-A-Thon Thing!](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/601682.html) Jed is singing Sinatra, as he does.
> 
> This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/). None of the media or characters written about in my fanfiction belong to me and I make no profit from these works. 

"Close the door, Jed," she called out. "You're letting in flies." She winced as the wooden screen door banged and squeaked on its hinges. "Are you going to fix that when you break it?"

"I could," he said, coming around the corner and taking a berry from the bucket before he placed it on the counter. He grinned at the blue and purple stains on his fingers. "The grandkids did a good job picking."

"Stripped my bushes bare," she said. She batted his hand away when, chuckling, he reached out for her. "Not everything is about sex."

"Sure sounded like that was."

"You are a dirty, dirty, old man."

He came up behind her at the sink where she was rinsing berries in a battered metal colander and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You smell good."

"I smell like bugspray, sweat, and crushed berries."

"Mmm," he hummed into her neck. "You know what I like."

"Bugspray?" she asked innocently.

"Sexy grandma," he replied, nibbling on her shoulder.

She ignored him. "Busy, Jethro. Berries to clean."

He put his hand over hers on the sprayer. "I'm helping."

She muttered when water sprayed across the counter thanks to his help. "How about you help by cleaning that up?"

"It'd be more fun if I stayed right here," he said, pushing against her back.

She bumped back at him and stifled a giggle when she heard him grunt. "It would be more fun if that water didn't drip onto the hardwood floor."

He tore off several paper towels and began pushing the water around on the counter. "Why do we have hardwood floors in the kitchen of a farmhouse anyway?"

"Because your ancestors were a cruel and haughty people who wouldn't put their Puritan feet on linoleum."

"Great-great-aunt Hepzibah hated us all," he remarked. "She was a witch, you know."

She sloshed the colander so more water hit the counter. "Really."

"Killed in the terrible New Hampshire witch trials." He reached across her and raggedly tore off several more towels. "Like Salem with just as many witches but far less tourist attractions. We didn't brag about it, you understand."

She watched his reflection in the kitchen window and tried to hide her smile. "So the insanity, it's genetic then?"

"You shouldn't taunt me, Abigail." He dipped his fingers into the shallow puddle and flicked water at her. "I've got witchcraft on my side."

She dodged the water drops, then turned the faucet higher so water continuously splattered onto the counter and onto Jed. "To think I always attributed it to a little bit of charm and the wisdom to hire a highly skilled staff."

"You think I kept that crew in line without witchcraft?" He slapped his palm flat down into the puddle and smirked when she was spattered. "I did not."

"That certainly explains Josh." She swiped her pinky under the sprayer and extended the motion until it splashed water onto his face. "Gotcha."

"Think so, do you?" He balled the sopping towels in his hand and they both watched as water dripped between his fingers.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I think you, I, and Great-great-aunt Hepzibah all know I would."

She turned to face him, sprayer hanging lax in her hand, finger over the trigger. "And what does Great-great-aunt Hepzibah think about this?"

He mirrored her stance, dripping towels at the ready. "She thinks a good housewife such as yourself would never willingly get water on this lovely and stylish hardwood floor."

"Needs stripping and re-waxing anyway," she said, then slowly and deliberately depressed the trigger.

Jed didn't duck out of the way but stood still while she sprayed him from head to feet and back again. Her smile gradually faded as his brightened and finally, when even his hair was dripping from all the water she had sent his way, she stopped.

"Oh, dear," she said.

"Great-great-aunt Hepzibah wants me to forgive you."

"She does?" She took a nervous step backward.

He closed the distance between them, standing so close water dripped off his nose and onto her face. "She does. Says she's happy to have another witch in the family."

"Oh she does, does she?"

"Tells it like she sees it, Great-great-aunt Hepzibah does." He kissed the tip of her nose then burst into song. _"And I've got no defense for it, the heat is too intense for it…"_

Abbey pushed the wet hair from his eyes and kissed him in return. "You know you're completely insane, right?"

"Yeah, but you love me." He bent his head forward and shook his hair until her blouse was covered with water spots. "You're a little damp there, Abigail. Maybe we should go change."

She kissed him again then took his hand and laughed while their children and grandchildren gaped as they ran past them toward their bedroom. "Wouldn't change a thing, Jethro. Not one thing."


End file.
